Loving the State of Engagement

I waited, sometimes not so patiently, for the day that my fiance would finally ask me to marry him and now that the moment has come and gone, I find myself in a state of immobility. I cannot for the life of me make one decision that will get us closer the actual act of getting married. I honestly find myself loving the "engaged state."

I have never been that person who was waiting for the perfect engagement story. In fact, I have a very hard time buying into the tradition of the woman waiting for the man to know when it's the "right time" for engagement. While I agreed to acquiesce and leave the proposing to Larry, I didn't make it very easy for him at all.  I let him know in no uncertain terms that I did NOT want a fairytale. I didn't want to be put in a position where I should feel that my knight in shining armor was finally here to sweep me away. If he were going to propose, it needed to be natural and should make me feel like an equal in the decision and situation.

And it wasn't enough that I was putting my foot down on the fairytale engagement, but I was also all over the place on what kind of ring I wanted - Did I want a cushion cut, a solitaire, a three stone, a cubic zirconia, or perhaps an eco friendly alternative? In fact, what I really wanted was for him to propose to me with a temporary ring and for us to choose the bling ring together. I just don't believe in the notion that the man should know his woman so well that he would be able to pick a ring for her to wear for the rest of her life as a token of their binding love.  I wanted to be an equal in this decision too...and perhaps a little more than equal, since my finger is where it would reside, after all.      

Somehow, despite all the obstacles I put in his way, Larry pulled it off like a champ and gave me my version of an engagement fairytale. After a wonderful dinner on New Year's Day in our new Northern California hometown, he convinced me to walk with him to an arbitrary street corner for a chat about our future. It was at that street corner that he asked me to marry him - and I, by the way, said yes before he could even officially ask!         

You may be wondering, why in the world did he choose an arbitrary street corner? Well, it happened to be the corner of 7th and Bee Streets. Our very first date ended at a bar called 7B in the East Village in Manhattan and Larry says it was at that bar, on that night that he knew he'd one day ask me to marry him.

And the ring?  Again, he nailed it. Larry got me a beautiful coyol seed ring from Naturaleza. Marlon, the jeweler, is a Nicaraguan living in Kentucky, who makes all of his jewelry using sustainable organic materials.  The specific ring that Larry chose for me is called Connectados. The description of the design on the ring reads, "Two equal pillars, connected."

I am still in awe of the ease with which Larry balanced an old school tradition with my modern beliefs (and I should give him credit, because it's obvious that he's a modern man, himself).

Since the engagement, we have had time to pick out the bling ring. We considered many eco-friendly alternatives to the diamond ring, but in the end, after much research, we decided on diamonds. Connectados will soon take residence in its permanent home on my right hand.

As for the wedding, as I mentioned above, I remain in a state of immobility. What I do know is I have this idea stuck in my head that I want it to be on the beach with palm leaves as my runner. With friends and family scattered throughout the country, I'm not going to lie, I've considered just broadcasting the event on Skype so that everyone interested can tune in without having to travel to whatever location we finally land on. I'm sure the Skype idea isn't going to fly with the powers that be, but just imagine it - low stress, everyone together, low eco footprint. My dream!         

Ok, enough with the dreaming...apparently I have lots of work to do. I'm going to be focusing on beaches in Northern California with eco friendly reception options close by. My goal - have a semblance of a plan by the next time I post! Wish me luck!

Melissa is a former New Yorker now living in San Matteo, CA. She and her fiance, Larry, left Brooklyn behind with reluctance in search of a life that incorporated the great outdoors more easily. By day, Melissa works at a consumer Internet company called Meebo. Her favorite thing about California so far is that running in February is as easy as putting your shoes on ahd hitting the road, and that swimming is always an outdoor sport. The vast amount of nature to explore and sports to try leaves her with a long to-do list. Having spent a good part of her 35 years on the East Coast in places like New York and New Jersey, Melissa finds herself in constant awe of the big-ness of nature in California.