Your Registry Can Be About More Than Just 'Stuff'

So, you get engaged, you're swooning in the romance of it all, daydreaming about the big day and thinking about the future with your one-and-only, only to be awakened by well-intentioned loved ones with a slew of stop-you-in-your-tracks questions. Right after inquiries about the date itself comes: Where are you registered?

Now it may seem innocuous to them, and geez, it's only because they care about you, but for many of us, it can feel a tad overwhelming. Especially if someone is throwing you a party, thus creating a deadline for you. What sounded like fun can start to feel a bit out of control.

But wait, you can stop the madness and do this on your own terms. Yes, you heard me right. Even with all of the pressure of to-do's and well-meaning questions, take a moment to breathe and think about why you're doing this in the first place: Because you want to partner with the one you love for a lifetime of shared experiences.

I'm willing to bet that much of what brought you two together, and what ultimately became the foundation for your relationship, are your values. The beginning of wedding planning is the perfect moment to return to these values and talk about how you would like to see them reflected throughout every aspect of your wedding. When it comes to gifting, it is possible to create a registry that reflects your personalities, lifestyles and what is most important to you at this time in your life.

The customary intention behind a wedding gift is to give the couple something that they can truly use to start this phase of their lives together. And if you're reading this blog, I'll take the leap that 'waste' is not high on your list. But between the hype, the salespeople and excited in-laws, it's normal to feel some pressure to just 'fill up the list' and register for things that you don't want or need, often with the thought that you'll just return them to the store for cash. I don't know anyone who doesn't love a good return policy, but I would ask you to consider a couple of things: 1) If you do it this way, all of the shipping costs and materials will go completely to waste, as does your time, going back and forth to the store, and 2) Your guests never really get to know what you actually care about or what their gift money has helped you achieve.

Guess what? Gifting doesn't have to be about stuff you won't use; there are other options. A cash gift registry opens up a world of possibilities that you can register for. Ask yourself this: What matters to you most? Are you saving for your first home together or eco-friendly upgrades for your fixer-upper? Would you like to take a honeymoon where you volunteer part time and donate to charity? What about a year's worth of newlywed activities to keep the celebration going with cooking lessons and romantic weekend getaways? Here are two examples:

In addition to creating a registry that will allow your guests to contribute to experiences you actually care about, a cash gift registry has the added benefit of reducing your stress (no big decisions to make because everything's virtual!) and keeping your environmental impact to a minimum: no shipping, no gift wrap, no returns. It also gives you the freedom to put that gift money to use in your community: buying local, supporting artists, antiquing and buying handmade.

People spend a lot of money on gifts, so why not help them put it where you want it most? It's a fun way of including guests in your lives and thought process, while getting what you want without waste or hassle. Another easy step towards a greener wedding and a more relaxed you. Cheers and happy registering!

Written by Dana Ostomel of Deposit a Gift

Years before Dana Ostomel got married, she wondered how anyone could store so many presents-and even if they could, how they had the time to unwrap, return (often), and store all of them. Her marketing background led her to believe she could simplify the registry process-and not just for weddings, but for any big gifting event. And so Deposit a Gift, the next generation gift registry, was born.

Read more about Dana