Green Wedding Experts Blog

Once upon a time, when Rob and I started looking for a venue in New Orleans, we started our search in the Green Wedding Directory. But Louisiana doesn’t have any venues listed. In fact, there is only one green restaurant certified business in the entire state- the Great Harvest Bread Co. in Lafayette, Louisiana - hours away from us.

So since both Rob and I wanted an indoor/outdoor wedding that screamed New Orleans, we continued on our journey. We looked at Antebellum plantations, St. Charles Avenue mansions, and French Quarter hotel courtyards.

Too Big: The Plantations

While the Antebellum plantations were beautiful, the cost - both financially and environmentally - was just too big. 

We would have needed to bus people 40 minutes each way, increasing our carbon footprint, guzzling gas, and killing the mood. No one, not even first graders, likes long bus rides. 

Also a tent, needed in case of rain, cost extra. The Antebellum plantation was just too big for our budget.

Too Small: The St. Charles Mansion

Small mansion, another oxymoron in a town famous for serving jumbo shrimp and novels about the living dead. As contradictory as it might seem, many of the historic homes we looked at were too small. 

The reception, which should be one celebration of two lives uniting, would have been held in a maze of connecting rooms forcing people to divide themselves into small parties.

Historic homes turn out to have another small problem: they are old. So they are made of old things - like plaster, which is sensitive to vibrations. Only acoustic music would be allowed in the mansions.

That was too small for the live party band Rob had envisioned.

Just Right: The French Quarter Hotel and Courtyard

I knew when we walked into the courtyard that it fit. The trees - palms and a Japanese plum- reach two stories high towards the open sky.

The indoor room and bar have french doors with glass windows allowing light and laughter to travel between them and the courtyard.

It’s in the heart of the French Quarter, walking distance from dozens of hotels of different price points.

No transportation is needed. The only footprints made will be on the sidewalk.

This one was just right.

Written by Veronica del Bianco

Read more blogs by Veronica: Stories From a Green Bride: Choosing a Location and Stories From a Green Bride: Are Diamonds a Girl's Best Friend?

Engaged couples and gift-givers alike are falling in love with the growing trend of gifting experiences in place of traditional household items because memories will always outlast stuff. In fact a recent New York Times article dove deep into this topic if you’re curious to know more about it. The key thing that I took away from the article was that the buzz from a new purchase only lasts so long, but the sensory experience of reliving our memories is something we tend to do again and again with pleasure, even after we’ve already lived and enjoyed the moment itself – it’s the gift that keeps on giving!

A honeymoon registry is the obvious choice, and a fantastic one at that, but what if you have other ideas about experiences you’d like to have together as a new family? A newlywed activity registry is a great way to keep the spice alive during the first year of marriage and create the kinds of memories daydreams are made of. Here are some ideas to get your creative juices flowing:

Season Tickets to a Local Theater

Subscription to a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture)

Cooking Lessons to Learn How to Make the Most of the CSA Goodies

Camping Gear for Weekends in the Wilderness

Skydiving to Celebrate Your 1^st Anniversary with Another Big Plunge

Romantic Dinner Date Nights

Start a New Hobby Together

Written by Dana Ostomel of Deposit a Gift

Years before Dana Ostomel got married, she wondered how anyone could store so many presents-and even if they could, how they had the time to unwrap, return (often), and store all of them. Her marketing background led her to believe she could simplify the registry process-and not just for weddings, but for any big gifting event. And so Deposit a Gift, the next generation gift registry, was born. Read more about Dana.

Older Posts from Dana Ostomel

How to Tactfully Inform Guests About Your Registry
The Online Gift Registry: A Perfect Solution for Today's Destination Wedding
Your Registry Can Be About More Than Just "Stuff"

For many couples, how to go about informing guests about your registry can prove a daunting task. You don’t want to feel like you’re asking for gifts, but you also know that guests want to know where you’re registered because it makes things easier for them.

Photo Courtesy of Deposit a Gift

Remember: most of your friends and family want to get you something that you actually want and won’t return. In fact, the ‘return factor’ can actually stir up a lot of angst for guests who want to buy you the perfect gift that you’ll always remember them for; no one wants to get you something you don’t like, won’t use or that causes you more headaches. At the same time, you have to keep in mind that although your wedding is currently the center of your universe, it is not the center of theirs, and simply making the arrangements to be at your wedding can be consuming enough, so you want to make details like buying your gift as easy and accessible as possible.

Now, I’m not one of those people that has a long list of wedding etiquette rules that one must follow, but there is one that is pretty consistent across most cultures and geographical groups of people, and that is: do not put your registry information on the invitations. (I say most, because there are a few parts of the world where this is standard practice, and if you are from there, you know the drill. However, when in doubt, don’t do it.) The focus of the invitation is supposed to be on the wedding and not the expectation of a gift, even though, yes, that would be the easiest and most obvious place.

So what are the best ways to share your registry tactfully and make it easy on guests?

1. Create a wedding website: The simplest and most effective place for your registry information is on your wedding website. Today wedding websites are welcomed and considered a normal and convenient accessory to the wedding. With so many services offering them for free with tools that help you and guests stay organized, why not? They are the perfect place for all the wedding details, and, bonus, can often be helpful for guests if they forget the invitation at home. Wedding websites are great (and green!) because you can email them around every time you have an update.



2. Add an insert to your Invitation: Adding an insert to your invitation is a perfect way to provide your guests with other important wedding details that don’t belong on the invitation. Include the URL to your wedding website with a note that it will be updated frequently with the latest and greatest as you near the Big Day – you can even get specific about the kind of information they can find there to give a clue that this is where they’ll find the registry details. You can also include things like driving directions, attire, if you have any rules about children etc. on the insert. If you think you have a large number of guests who are not so hip to the Internet, then you can include your registry information as well, but ideally if you don’t have to specify it and can leave it to the wedding website, that is best.



3. Inform your immediate family & others involved in the wedding: Make sure that those closest to you have the registry information handy because often they will receive the phone calls from guests with questions about what to get you. These people could range from your parents, to your siblings, to your wedding party. If you have any strong preferences, make sure they are aware and know what to communicate.



4. Shower invitations are acceptable places to share the registry: Whether you’re having a traditional bridal shower or a co-ed Jack n’ Jill, showers are typically an occasion to literally shower the guest of honor with gifts unless the host specifies otherwise. Since this is often the main event and people attending want to bring something, they’ll need this information handy. The invitation is an acceptable place because someone else is throwing the shower for you, so in effect, they are the ones telling guests where you are registered, not you.

 

Written by Dana Ostomel of Deposit a Gift

Years before Dana Ostomel got married, she wondered how anyone could store so many presents-and even if they could, how they had the time to unwrap, return (often), and store all of them. Her marketing background led her to believe she could simplify the registry process-and not just for weddings, but for any big gifting event. And so Deposit a Gift, the next generation gift registry, was born. Read more about Dana.

Older Posts from Dana Ostomel

The Online Gift Registry: A Perfect Solution for Today's Destination Wedding
Your Registry Can Be About More Than Just "Stuff"

I didn't need to watch Leonardo DiCaprio in Blood Diamond to know that diamond mining has a negative effect on humanity and the environment.  Not to mention that they've become more a symbol of status than of love.

And yet I still wanted a traditional diamond engagement ring.  What are a girl and her conscience to do?

1. Say How You Feel

I openly discussed the topic of conflict diamonds with my boyfriend Rob and others in my life.  I made it clear that I did not want to contribute to the tragic conflicts in Angola and Sierra Leone, fueled by illicit diamond smuggling.  Nor did I want to support mining practices that hurt the environment there and in other parts of the world.  For me, a new diamond would not do.

Image Courtesy of Brilliant Earth

 Brilliant Earth is an socially and environmentally responsible jewelry company, offering certified conflict-free diamonds and recycled metals. They will also create new pieces out of stones and metals that you already have in the family.

2. Be Open to Alternative Options

By discussing conflict diamonds with family and friends, I had inadvertently placed a want ad for used diamonds.  Several people offered family heirlooms, old rings they had since upgraded from, and even lose diamonds for which I thanked them but deferred to Rob.  As much as I wanted a reused ring, it was ultimately Rob's decision.

Images Courtesy of Reflective Images

Each engagement and wedding ring in the Reflective Images collection is handmade by an American artisan utilizing 100% recycled, eco-friendly precious metals. They are available with fair trade gemstones and ethically sourced conflict-free diamonds which can be traced from mine, directly to market.

3. Give Up Control and Enjoy!

When Rob proposed in the park where we met, I merely glanced at the ring before putting it on my finger.  The jewelry itself didn't matter at that once in a lifetime moment.  It was later, after all excitement and phone calls, that I really looked down and examined the ring, which had once belonged to his grandmother.

Image Courtesy of Barbara Michelle Jacobs Jewelry

Barbara Michelle Jacobs Jewelry designs stunning engagement bands and other jewelry, all handmade in New York City. The ring pictured above is made from 100% reclaimed yellow gold, and completed with an pre-1930 antique diamond. Antique diamonds offer all the pros of diamonds with none of the ethical implications because they predate the modern mining practices that are socially and environmentally devastating. 

Written By Veronica Del Bianco

Veronica Del Bianco currently resides in the heart of New Orleans just a street car ride from the French Quarter.  And despite her pick-up truck driving fiancé, her love for po' boys, and her devoted hound dog, Veronica cannot hide the fact that she is, indeed, a transplanted "yankee" from the Mid-Atlantic. She is currently planning her own green wedding.

So, you get engaged, you're swooning in the romance of it all, daydreaming about the big day and thinking about the future with your one-and-only, only to be awakened by well-intentioned loved ones with a slew of stop-you-in-your-tracks questions. Right after inquiries about the date itself comes: Where are you registered?

Now it may seem innocuous to them, and geez, it's only because they care about you, but for many of us, it can feel a tad overwhelming. Especially if someone is throwing you a party, thus creating a deadline for you. What sounded like fun can start to feel a bit out of control.

But wait, you can stop the madness and do this on your own terms. Yes, you heard me right. Even with all of the pressure of to-do's and well-meaning questions, take a moment to breathe and think about why you're doing this in the first place: Because you want to partner with the one you love for a lifetime of shared experiences.

I'm willing to bet that much of what brought you two together, and what ultimately became the foundation for your relationship, are your values. The beginning of wedding planning is the perfect moment to return to these values and talk about how you would like to see them reflected throughout every aspect of your wedding. When it comes to gifting, it is possible to create a registry that reflects your personalities, lifestyles and what is most important to you at this time in your life.

The customary intention behind a wedding gift is to give the couple something that they can truly use to start this phase of their lives together. And if you're reading this blog, I'll take the leap that 'waste' is not high on your list. But between the hype, the salespeople and excited in-laws, it's normal to feel some pressure to just 'fill up the list' and register for things that you don't want or need, often with the thought that you'll just return them to the store for cash. I don't know anyone who doesn't love a good return policy, but I would ask you to consider a couple of things: 1) If you do it this way, all of the shipping costs and materials will go completely to waste, as does your time, going back and forth to the store, and 2) Your guests never really get to know what you actually care about or what their gift money has helped you achieve.

Guess what? Gifting doesn't have to be about stuff you won't use; there are other options. A cash gift registry opens up a world of possibilities that you can register for. Ask yourself this: What matters to you most? Are you saving for your first home together or eco-friendly upgrades for your fixer-upper? Would you like to take a honeymoon where you volunteer part time and donate to charity? What about a year's worth of newlywed activities to keep the celebration going with cooking lessons and romantic weekend getaways? Here are two examples:

In addition to creating a registry that will allow your guests to contribute to experiences you actually care about, a cash gift registry has the added benefit of reducing your stress (no big decisions to make because everything's virtual!) and keeping your environmental impact to a minimum: no shipping, no gift wrap, no returns. It also gives you the freedom to put that gift money to use in your community: buying local, supporting artists, antiquing and buying handmade.

People spend a lot of money on gifts, so why not help them put it where you want it most? It's a fun way of including guests in your lives and thought process, while getting what you want without waste or hassle. Another easy step towards a greener wedding and a more relaxed you. Cheers and happy registering!

Written by Dana Ostomel of Deposit a Gift

Years before Dana Ostomel got married, she wondered how anyone could store so many presents-and even if they could, how they had the time to unwrap, return (often), and store all of them. Her marketing background led her to believe she could simplify the registry process-and not just for weddings, but for any big gifting event. And so Deposit a Gift, the next generation gift registry, was born.

Read more about Dana

With so many couples getting engaged over the holidays, wedding vendors are gearing up to sell sell sell. Before you dive into full wedding planning mode, have a plan! The first thing you should do is think and dream about what you want your wedding day to look like.

If you have visions of a lavish event at a hotel, you can still have a green wedding. If you are wanting a backyard bash with your dad's three hundred business associates and two hundred of your closest sorority or fraternity friends, you can still have a green wedding. If you are thinking about a small wedding with a ten course meal, you can have still have a green wedding.

The difference in planning an eco-friendly wedding versus one that is not green are the choices you make along the way.  You can have a light green wedding or an emerald wedding (just try to at least incorporate some degree of eco-friendliness).  If every couple made at least one "green" choice in their decision making process for their wedding, the environment would benefit greatly.

The main idea in having a plan of action before you meet with any of your vendors is to have your wedding vision in place. There will be multiple questions on both sides (both from you and from them).  Your first place to go for information is the internet (of course).  Here you will find a plethora of information about what makes a green wedding and what doesn't.  However, if a vendor is eco-friendly, they  will most likely be saying something about it on their website. Then, once you meet with a vendor, make sure you ask about what they are doing to make a difference in their community and the environment. Being green is not just about eco-friendly materials and supplies, it is about social justice as well.

Whether you are just starting your planning process or you're a week away from getting hitched, you can always make green changes to your plan. Have the mindset to make a difference with your wedding. If you start off green you will make a difference not only with your wedding day, but with how you live your life together as a married couple!

And by the way, having a green wedding does not mean the colors of your wedding have to be green or brown! You can have an eco-friendly wedding with bright or muted hues of any color.

Congratulations on your engagement!

Happy Green Planning!

 Written By Katie Martin, Owner of Elegance & Simplicity, Inc. - Eco-Beautiful Weddings 
All photos courtesy of Katie Martin

Katie Martin is the nation's leading eco-friendly wedding expert. She has owned and operated Elegance & Simplicity Wedding & Event Designers, Inc. since 1998. Her firm has designed thousands of eco-friendly events and has been heralded nationally by magazines, newspapers, blogs and other forms of media. Ms. Martin is also the Editor-in-Chief of Eco-Beautiful Weddings® Online Magazine & Blog.