Green Wedding Experts Blog

For many couples, how to go about informing guests about your registry can prove a daunting task. You don’t want to feel like you’re asking for gifts, but you also know that guests want to know where you’re registered because it makes things easier for them.

Photo Courtesy of Deposit a Gift

Remember: most of your friends and family want to get you something that you actually want and won’t return. In fact, the ‘return factor’ can actually stir up a lot of angst for guests who want to buy you the perfect gift that you’ll always remember them for; no one wants to get you something you don’t like, won’t use or that causes you more headaches. At the same time, you have to keep in mind that although your wedding is currently the center of your universe, it is not the center of theirs, and simply making the arrangements to be at your wedding can be consuming enough, so you want to make details like buying your gift as easy and accessible as possible.

Now, I’m not one of those people that has a long list of wedding etiquette rules that one must follow, but there is one that is pretty consistent across most cultures and geographical groups of people, and that is: do not put your registry information on the invitations. (I say most, because there are a few parts of the world where this is standard practice, and if you are from there, you know the drill. However, when in doubt, don’t do it.) The focus of the invitation is supposed to be on the wedding and not the expectation of a gift, even though, yes, that would be the easiest and most obvious place.

So what are the best ways to share your registry tactfully and make it easy on guests?

1. Create a wedding website: The simplest and most effective place for your registry information is on your wedding website. Today wedding websites are welcomed and considered a normal and convenient accessory to the wedding. With so many services offering them for free with tools that help you and guests stay organized, why not? They are the perfect place for all the wedding details, and, bonus, can often be helpful for guests if they forget the invitation at home. Wedding websites are great (and green!) because you can email them around every time you have an update.



2. Add an insert to your Invitation: Adding an insert to your invitation is a perfect way to provide your guests with other important wedding details that don’t belong on the invitation. Include the URL to your wedding website with a note that it will be updated frequently with the latest and greatest as you near the Big Day – you can even get specific about the kind of information they can find there to give a clue that this is where they’ll find the registry details. You can also include things like driving directions, attire, if you have any rules about children etc. on the insert. If you think you have a large number of guests who are not so hip to the Internet, then you can include your registry information as well, but ideally if you don’t have to specify it and can leave it to the wedding website, that is best.



3. Inform your immediate family & others involved in the wedding: Make sure that those closest to you have the registry information handy because often they will receive the phone calls from guests with questions about what to get you. These people could range from your parents, to your siblings, to your wedding party. If you have any strong preferences, make sure they are aware and know what to communicate.



4. Shower invitations are acceptable places to share the registry: Whether you’re having a traditional bridal shower or a co-ed Jack n’ Jill, showers are typically an occasion to literally shower the guest of honor with gifts unless the host specifies otherwise. Since this is often the main event and people attending want to bring something, they’ll need this information handy. The invitation is an acceptable place because someone else is throwing the shower for you, so in effect, they are the ones telling guests where you are registered, not you.

 

Written by Dana Ostomel of Deposit a Gift

Years before Dana Ostomel got married, she wondered how anyone could store so many presents-and even if they could, how they had the time to unwrap, return (often), and store all of them. Her marketing background led her to believe she could simplify the registry process-and not just for weddings, but for any big gifting event. And so Deposit a Gift, the next generation gift registry, was born. Read more about Dana.

Older Posts from Dana Ostomel

The Online Gift Registry: A Perfect Solution for Today's Destination Wedding
Your Registry Can Be About More Than Just "Stuff"

So you’ve received the responses back, have the menu figured out, the flowers on order, and the DJ loading up the playlist.  The details are falling into place!  “Day of” stationery needs are next on your to-do list.  But if taking a look at this step with your green goggles on, you may hesitate at the amount of “extra” paper today’s bride could possibly divulge in.  Just to start the list, you’ve got programs, place cards, menu cards, table numbers, favor tags… oh my!

Don’t fret, green bride.  Verify that your printed products are at the very least printed on 30% post-consumer waste paper.  This is the paper industry’s minimum to qualify for “recycled content” labels, so getting to 30% of the good recycled stuff shouldn’t be hard.  The next question should be, “Is the paper recyclable?” (because not all papers are). In any papers that are “shiny” and metallic, the shiny content must be made of organic materials in order to be recycled. You can’t stick the glossy, coated, or otherwise “sparkly” papers into ye old recycle bin.

Ok, your paper is recycled, recyclable, and the next and final step is making sure you actually recycle it!  Now this may take some creative thinking.  How many weddings have you been to where, as you’re wiping your eyes and walking away from the ceremony, you look back and oh the horror!  Programs are strewn all about!  What do you think that wonderful church janitor is going to do with those?  (Hint: Compost them to the parish worm bin is NOT the answer.)  And the bride, of course, is thinking about other things.  Like, “Oh my god- I just got married, where’s the photographer, is my grandma doing ok, how’s my lipstick look?”  So put some time into the recycling thought process before the big day.  And the answer is… a Recycling Ambassador!  Ladies, let’s retire the useless “guest book attendant” role and start adopting the Recycling Ambassador.  Be bold (and a tad bit ironic, I might add) and put the title and credit right on the programs. Say it proud!

What is a Recycling Ambassador, you ask?  This person’s mission, shall they choose to accept, is to follow behind at each step of the ceremony and reception and gather up the paper products.  The programs are distributed, and then immediately following the ceremony scooped up.  Give them a decorated bin (most likely the same bin you brought them to the ceremony site in, no doubt) for depositing recyclables.  After the meal, the menus can be collected, and toward the end of the night, the table numbers, place cards, etc. etc.  At Spilled Ink Press, we always offer to take back the paper products from our clients and recycle them on their behalf. You know, so they can enjoy their honeymoon without recycling remorse. 

If your stationer hasn’t offered this service and you don’t want to worry about it yourself, make sure your Ambassador has access to a paper recycle program- perhaps your venue even has a receptacle in the building.  If this same person is going to the post-wedding brunch, where perhaps gifts will be opened and cards read- be sure those now disposed of envelopes and cards end up in the bin as well!  How many showers have you been to after all where the little wide-eyed ones circle around the bride on the floor and want nothing more than to snatch up the ribbons and wrapping paper and be the “helper” of the day. Imagine granting your niece--who was too old for the flower girl gig, but too young to be a bridesmaid--the “Recycle Maid” position!  Your wedding day will be that much more green, and your friends and family will be happy to fill this special role.  Done and done!

Written By Amanda Eich of Spilled Ink Press

Amanda Eich is half of Spilled Ink Press, a husband and wife team of former architects with green hearts that now design custom wedding invitations, party invitations, stationery of all kinds, and greeting cards.  It’s a long story that she’d be happy to tell you over a cup of coffee. Spilled Ink Press is located in Chicago, Illinois.

Photos By Gerber + Scarpelli Wedding Photography

Destination weddings are becoming an increasingly popular venue of choice for a variety of reasons, from offering a more intimate celebration experience, to a centralized location for friends and family to converge from across the globe.  Though the motivations to get married far from home run the gamut from the romantic to practical, every destination wedding has one thing in common: the inherent host of logistical challenges. From making long distance decisions, to navigating the gifting, there is a lot to manage.

Really?! I have to "manage" even the gifting? Well, yes. But it doesn't have to be that hard if you take advantage of the tools and resources at your fingertips. (You can thank yourself later for getting married in the Internet age.) Read on...

From the get-go you'll find many a couple fraught with concern about how to handle the delicate topic of "gifts." Being sensitive to the added expense, travel and time that comes with a destination wedding, some may avoid registering for gifts and tell their guests that being at the wedding is gift enough. Though certainly noble, the reality is that most of your guests will want to buy you something to celebrate your marriage.  The issue then for guests of destination weddings is not only the traditional "what should I buy?" but do I need to carry it to the destination? The unique issue for the wedding couple is how do I bring all these gifts back? Every choice makes a difference, and this certainly is not the greenest of them all.

So what to do? Well, first: BREATHE. And remember those tools and resources I mentioned before.

A simple and environmentally friendly solution is to use an online gift registry service. Take advantage of the ease and flexibility it offers both you and your guests - no trips to the store, no shipping, no gift wrap, no returns. You can create a gift list that you feel good about, that is helpful to guests and that doesn't create a logistical nightmare of shipping or the possibility of misplaced envelopes at your destination.  With a registry like this you have the opportunity to share what's most important to you and let guests have the fun of being part of it in a safe, secure and streamlined way...even a small gift can feel big because it's part of a larger goal like:

• Helping you save for something big like your first home together
• Donating to a charity that is close to your heart
• Buying local in an ecological and socially responsible way
• Giving you the gift of experiences together, like a cooking class
• Not supporting consumerism just for the sake of

So remember, when it comes to gifting and destination weddings, keep things simple, keep things virtual, keep things green. Now Bon Voyage!!

Written by Dana Ostomel of Deposit a Gift

Years before Dana Ostomel got married, she wondered how anyone could store so many presents-and even if they could, how they had the time to unwrap, return (often), and store all of them. Her marketing background led her to believe she could simplify the registry process-and not just for weddings, but for any big gifting event. And so Deposit a Gift, the next generation gift registry, was born. Read more about Dana.

Older Posts from Dana Ostomel

Your Registry Can Be About More Than Just "Stuff"

All-Natural Made-to-Order vs. Artificial Made in Volume: “Is There Really a Difference?"
(Part 2 in a 3-part series) by Marney White

What do most people get from the corner bakery, when it comes to cakes?  Probably never thought about it, huh?

Most of the time, your local traditional bakery can get you out of a jam when you've forgotten that your fiancé's 30^th birthday party is tomorrow afternoon.  Or even tonight.  Whew!  What a relief.  How can they come through for you like this?  It takes hours to bake, cool, and decorate a cake, right?  Right.

Image: Chloe Volz Photography

That kind of convenience comes at a price. 

Traditional bakeries operate with high overhead…a big shop with substantial payroll and expenses to meet.  The only way to make it all happen is in selling in volume.  That's why there are scads of baked goods in the cases every morning, even before the sun comes up, ready for hungry, happy buyers.  You have to be able to sell as many orders as possible every day, and accommodate as many requests as possible.  How are last-minute cake requests fulfilled?  There's only one way to do it: baking ahead, and freezing the cakes for later use.   You have to be able to take a cake out of the freezer, and fill, ice and decorate it to be ready to send it out the door.  The part that takes the most time is already done: baking and cooling the cake, then chilling it to get it firm enough to work on without tearing it.  So, it's easy to level it, fill it, put some pre-made vegetable shortening icing on it (which is much softer and quicker to apply and pipe than genuine buttercream), pipe a few roses, and get it out the door. 

There's another reality of making a profit in a traditional bakery: they tend to use cost-saving commercial cake mixes, and also tend to use cost-saving oil instead of real butter for the fat in their cakes.  (We already discussed Criscocream icing in my last article.)  Why do commercial bakery cakes so often leave something to be desired where flavor is concerned?  For a couple of reasons: vegetable oil doesn't have the flavor of butter.  Also, cake mixes are chock-full of chemical preservatives.  Think about it: food banks love to ask for them when there's a campaign for food donations for the hungry.  Why?  Because their shelf life is ridiculously long.  You can use a cake mix that's years old, and it'll taste pretty much the same as it would have the day you bought it, if you'd made it right away.  You can formulate a cake mix that will last a real long time, but not without giving something up to get that result.

Having the cakes ready to go is all well and good, but that comes at a price, too.  A side effect of freezing is that things can get really dried-out.  Many people complain of cakes that come from a traditional bakery being dry.  That might be because a cake could be frozen for weeks, or even a couple of months.  That's a long time to sit around, drying out in the cold.

Finally, the scariest reality of getting a pre-frozen cake that's been put together for an order is this: it might still be frozen when you get it.  I've heard horror stories of clients who have ordered a wedding or shower cake from their local bakery, only to have it arrive completely frozen, and inedible.  Moreover, the outside of the cake will “sweat” if it's brought straight from the freezer to room temperature, and the icing may also crack as a result.  Not a pretty sight. 

Image: Chloe Volz Photography

Although it'll never get you out of a jam when you've completely spaced-out and forgotten a cake, there is an alternative: use a custom cake designer.  For us, not an egg is cracked until it's time to make an order.  There are no giant display cases filled with baked goods waiting for a home.   Space is primarily about the kitchen - the workspace.  A custom cake designer will use the best ingredients for your cake, which of course means that you're going to end up with a far more flavorful, moist product than you would from a commercial bakery.  Because we work this way, we limit the amount of work we accept.  Not only are we limited by the clock - it simply takes a certain amount of time for a cake to bake, cool, and then chill and get firm enough to work on. 

Additionally, when you're working in genuine buttercream, it's a totally different consistency than bakery “Criscocream” (if it's white, it's not butter, it's vegetable shortening).  And to you have to re-chill the cake in between every stage of decorating to produce a flawless result.  There's simply no hurrying it.  Of course, there's also physical limitations to consider: there's only so much piping of icing designs that the muscles of the hand can take, so the number of orders a custom cake designer is able to take is limited by that, whether or not we like it.  For a wedding cake, that process can take a couple of days, depending on the complexity of the design.  But have no fear!  Because of the high quality ingredients used (a custom cake designer tends to use only the best ingredients available, regardless of cost), your cake will still taste incredibly moist and fresh - even after the wedding! 

So, if you're after the most moist and delicious cake you can get, make sure you're getting it from someone who makes them without compromising time or quality ingredients, and chances are, you'll be glad you did.

Written by Marney White, Owner of Marneycakes, Inc.

So, you get engaged, you're swooning in the romance of it all, daydreaming about the big day and thinking about the future with your one-and-only, only to be awakened by well-intentioned loved ones with a slew of stop-you-in-your-tracks questions. Right after inquiries about the date itself comes: Where are you registered?

Now it may seem innocuous to them, and geez, it's only because they care about you, but for many of us, it can feel a tad overwhelming. Especially if someone is throwing you a party, thus creating a deadline for you. What sounded like fun can start to feel a bit out of control.

But wait, you can stop the madness and do this on your own terms. Yes, you heard me right. Even with all of the pressure of to-do's and well-meaning questions, take a moment to breathe and think about why you're doing this in the first place: Because you want to partner with the one you love for a lifetime of shared experiences.

I'm willing to bet that much of what brought you two together, and what ultimately became the foundation for your relationship, are your values. The beginning of wedding planning is the perfect moment to return to these values and talk about how you would like to see them reflected throughout every aspect of your wedding. When it comes to gifting, it is possible to create a registry that reflects your personalities, lifestyles and what is most important to you at this time in your life.

The customary intention behind a wedding gift is to give the couple something that they can truly use to start this phase of their lives together. And if you're reading this blog, I'll take the leap that 'waste' is not high on your list. But between the hype, the salespeople and excited in-laws, it's normal to feel some pressure to just 'fill up the list' and register for things that you don't want or need, often with the thought that you'll just return them to the store for cash. I don't know anyone who doesn't love a good return policy, but I would ask you to consider a couple of things: 1) If you do it this way, all of the shipping costs and materials will go completely to waste, as does your time, going back and forth to the store, and 2) Your guests never really get to know what you actually care about or what their gift money has helped you achieve.

Guess what? Gifting doesn't have to be about stuff you won't use; there are other options. A cash gift registry opens up a world of possibilities that you can register for. Ask yourself this: What matters to you most? Are you saving for your first home together or eco-friendly upgrades for your fixer-upper? Would you like to take a honeymoon where you volunteer part time and donate to charity? What about a year's worth of newlywed activities to keep the celebration going with cooking lessons and romantic weekend getaways? Here are two examples:

In addition to creating a registry that will allow your guests to contribute to experiences you actually care about, a cash gift registry has the added benefit of reducing your stress (no big decisions to make because everything's virtual!) and keeping your environmental impact to a minimum: no shipping, no gift wrap, no returns. It also gives you the freedom to put that gift money to use in your community: buying local, supporting artists, antiquing and buying handmade.

People spend a lot of money on gifts, so why not help them put it where you want it most? It's a fun way of including guests in your lives and thought process, while getting what you want without waste or hassle. Another easy step towards a greener wedding and a more relaxed you. Cheers and happy registering!

Written by Dana Ostomel of Deposit a Gift

Years before Dana Ostomel got married, she wondered how anyone could store so many presents-and even if they could, how they had the time to unwrap, return (often), and store all of them. Her marketing background led her to believe she could simplify the registry process-and not just for weddings, but for any big gifting event. And so Deposit a Gift, the next generation gift registry, was born.

Read more about Dana

I have a newfound fascination with oysters. My obsession with these mysterious mollusks got kicked into high gear when a friend threw a dinner party featuring roasted oysters. The farmed Long Island Blue Points, purchased that morning at the fish market, were served hot in large bowls and we were given oyster knives to pry them open. It was a messy job, with the juice spilling in unintended places (my neighbor's pant leg, for instance), but the hard work of shucking made the oysters even more enjoyable. Accompanied by a simple mignonette sauce and a glass of rosÃ, they tasted darn near perfect.

Even before the party, oysters were on my radar. They captured my attention when I decided to boost my iron intake through dietary changes. With a little research, I discovered that oysters are high in iron, so it gave me a good excuse to indulge in this "luxury" food. I'd always liked oysters, and knowing they were good for me only increased their appeal.

But health wasn't my only attraction to this prized bivalve. While writing my cookbook, I spent a lot of time learning which fish and seafood are caught or farmed sustainably, and I found that oysters - along with mussels, clams, and scallops - can actually help to improve the quality of coastal waters where they are farmed. Oysters feed by filtering tiny plankton out of the water, so they do not need to be fed with wild-caught fish (in the form of fish oil or fishmeal) as do most farmed fish. They are generally not susceptible to disease, so there is no need to feed them antibiotics, and they are unlikely to escape and contaminate wild populations with disease - both common problems with aquaculture.

Finally, oysters are grown suspended in water, which means that when they're harvested there is no need to dredge the sea floor, a widely used fishing technique that is a major cause of habitat destruction. Both the Environmental Defense Fund and the Monterey Bay Aquarium place farmed oysters on their list of most highly recommended seafood choices.

Luckily for me, oysters are a common feature of many Manhattan restaurant menus these days, and it's not just seafood joints. Oysters are a mainstay on the gourmet landscape because farming has made them available all-year-round. There is an old saying that one should only eat oysters in "R" months, that is, every month except May, June, July or August. The saying was based on changes in the marine environment that made the oysters more prone to carrying bacteria in warm weather. Now that oysters are grown in carefully monitored farming operations, we can safely enjoy them throughout the year.

But back to my friend's dinner: Because the guests did the shucking, the oysters were quite affordable - about 25 cents each. I love this idea for a party. Have guests do the work, or hire someone just to take care of this task. I don't know about you, but give me some good oysters, wine, and salad, and throw in some carbs (fresh bread will do perfectly) and I'm very well satisfied. I say, keep the menu simple and keep the spotlight on the oysters. I recommend including oysters at your next special gathering, either roasted or raw, shucked or unshucked, but definitely farmed and definitely fresh.

Recipe: Oven-Roasted Oysters from The New York Times, March 16, 2005

Time: 45 minutes

100 to 120 unshucked oysters, scrubbed clean

6 small lemons, cut into wedges

Tabasco, or other pepper sauce

Sour orange mignonette

1. Heat oven to 475 degrees. Working in batches, arrange oysters in a single layer in a 12-by-16-inch roasting pan fitted with a flat rack. Pour 1/3 inch of hot tap water into pan, and bake for 7 minutes, or until oyster shells have begun to open.

2. Using gloves or tongs, transfer oysters to a table covered in newspaper for guests to shuck, garnish and eat while next batch cooks. Add water to pan as necessary, and repeat roasting until all oysters have been served, about 45 minutes. Serve with lemon wedges hot sauce, and sour orange mignonette.

Yield: 8 servings.

Written By Louisa Shafia, Author Of Lucid Food: Cooking for an Eco-Conscious Life (Ten Speed Press)

After working as an editor on NPR's Fresh Air, then pursuing an acting career that peaked with a low-budget horror film, Louisa took a job cooking at a yoga retreat. The guests loved the food, and she loved the work, so she went to cooking school. In 2004, she brought her unique take on earth-friendly food to the world of fine catering with the Lucid Food consultancy, specializing in seasonal and local food and low-waste events where supplies are recycled or composted.